Single fathers seem invisible.
They exist, and yet, they seemingly don’t. For example, in 2019, there were 6.5 million single father households in the United States, but rarely do you hear them spoken about or represented on screen or in pop culture, especially single Black fathers.
My dad was one.
He had the intermittent help of partners that were surrogate mother figures but primarily took it upon himself to raise my older sister and me.
Beyond the logistical and financial complications of being a single parent, my dad struggled with an aspect that I’m sure any single parent can identify…
Eleven years…That’s how long Frank Yukich and I knew each other. We met in 2010 in a small town in Central California called Visalia. When it came to partying, he was always the go-to guy.
When I moved to Long Beach in 2012, one year later, he moved down to Southern California. I was the only person he knew here. So when he hit me up, I introduced him to my fraternity which he eventually joined.
The last two years of our friendship were a bit nonexistent, though. Frank moved to the Bay area and stopped returning my calls and…
In 2015 I discovered a passion for writing. Since then, I dreamed of writing on a blog of my own, but self-doubt impeded me for five years. A year ago, I finally got over myself and wrote my first blog post for medium.
It’s been a crazy year full of many lessons, but here are five that I got from blogging.
“Those who need to seek validation extrinsically, will find a decline in well-being” — John Broadway
(Full disclosure: I get how silly it looks to start with a quote from myself, but there’s a method to my madness, stay…
In 2010 I was a high school senior, and everyone knew me for my mophead dreadlocks. I liked having them, but they were too thick for my taste. That same year, I cut them, intending to grow them again years later but thinner and neater.
Exactly one decade later, I fulfilled this promise to myself. As I reflected on all the factors related to my decision and the process of growing my hair, I identified valuable life lessons that compelled me to write this article.
Surprise: you are your own worst enemy. I am definitely mine.
For people like myself with huge aspirations, there’s a natural self-critique that accompanies our ambition. Fortunately, I’ve reflected and identified ways that I’ve overcome the obstacles no one but my own psyche places on myself.
I’m sharing these experiences and lessons because something tells me they may be helpful.
Recently, I went through a period where I was super self-conscious about my writing. Now, every writer knows that’s not necessarily uncommon, but the problem was I allowed the self-consciousness and doubt to keep me from producing.
Every two weeks…
Elisha, my younger brother by seven years, just turned 21. It seems like just yesterday, Elisha was one year old, smothering his first birthday cake all over his face because he didn’t know what else to do.
I called him on his 21st birthday, and we reflected on how far our relationship has come. The reflection eventually brought to mind valuable takeaways about leadership, legacy, and applying life lessons.
One year ago, on March 11th, 2020, The World Health Organization declared a global pandemic, and panic reverberated worldwide. Chaos and confusion reigned as mandatory lockdowns, quarantines, panic buying, and a cascade of conspiracy theories soon followed.
In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity — Sun Tzu
As someone with screenwriting aspirations, I was devastated not only that the first feature-length film set I had worked on was canceled mid-way through; I was devastated that my aspirations were deemed “non-essential.” That hurt.
I spent my first week of lockdown wallowing in self-pity.
I still remember lying in bed…
I met Edwin Bancroft Henderson II at an airport three years ago. As we sat across from each other, we connected through a shared interest, symbolized by the Africa pendant dangling on my chest.
I reached out to connect with him because of another shared interest, history, particularly, using history to affect the present and the future.
Recently, my supervisor asked me to do some research on deficit-based language. At first, this was something meant to help our copywriting team. One of our company’s partners called out our use of deficit-based language, so we had to figure out how to remedy that. Follow my research, I realized the resonance of avoiding deficit-based language goes much further than merely writing words that please people who help us collect checks. Language impacts our mindset. Furthermore, the mindset we employ creates narratives that can affect us in profound ways.
Deficit-based language focuses on needs, lack, or perceived weaknesses of individuals…
I’ve always loved sending holiday well wishes. It’s somewhat of a tradition for me, I guess I revere sending words of goodwill. In 2013, I started a tradition where I would post on social media wishing all the lovely ladies a Happy Valentines Day and then go into more detail about who I was and was not talking about when I said “lovely lady.”